I Was Not Sleeping

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The stuff of nightmares…things that have happened to me that I had no control over…often revisits me day after day, night after night…and the sad thing is that I am awake, not sleeping.

I remember when….came one morning to find me in my cell. The Previous night guard bragging to him about his and other’s self proclaimed prowess in playing part in sexually assaulting me…

He stood there laughing as the other jail guard talked about his exploits, not caring that I was awake and hearing every word that was said…I was not sleeping….while the the Predators bragged and stalked…

Later time brought the cover up of rape and sexual assault…then the jail transport guard that had listened in rapt attention to the night guard that had bragged about his part in what happened to me…

Took me up the stairs one day to court instead of using the elevators…and rubbed himself on me, pressing into my body as I took each step up towards the courtroom where my Hearing was waiting for me….

The Judge was already seated on his throne, a small video monitor on his desk…that clearly showed a black and white image of the stairs that I had just been brought up to get to the court room….

Did he see what the guard did to me? Was he watching? I’d never noticed the small video monitor on his ‘throne’ before…was it a threat or an instigation daring me to say something...

As he informed the Court that the elevator was broken and that I’d had to be brought up the stairs to the courtroom…Did he see what the jail guard did to me? How could he not?

Maybe he didn’t but either way it doesn’t change the fact that I was sexually assaulted on the stairs on the way to my court Hearing…by the jail guard who had listened to the night guard…

Tell about his part in sexually assaulting me…This listening had a ripple effect of corruption and coverup…it coerced the transport guard into taking part in the ring of other Predator guards…I was not sleeping…

Abuse, rape, manipulation in the system that is supposed to protect you, that is supposed to stand for justice…in that County there is no Justice due to the Ripple Effect of Corruption… I was not sleeping

Early morning hours bring memory, reflection of a system that hurt and abused me… in a place where predators roamed free to rape, to manipulate, to instigate…I was not sleeping

Predators like magnets drawing in those they know that are dark and lacking in morals like themselves…instigating them to perpetrate a crime against an inmate….he is as guilty as the others for his part…

I was not sleeping. I was not sleeping. I was not sleeping. I was not sleeping. I was not sleeping. I was not sleeping. I heard every word, felt every abuse. I was not sleeping…..

As the transport guard pressed himself firm against me, his body melding into mine, every step of the way…he knew he was violating me, he knew he was sexually assaulting me on the way to my court Hearing….

One thought on “I Was Not Sleeping

  1. I recently found out that there’s a Washington State law update that recently occurred that allows rape victims to file formal complaint against rapist within 20 years.


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